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Insight and support for Christian husbands
Insight and support for Christian husbands
So when you talk about duty, I feel that as a man I have many duties in the marriage and it doesn’t seem like too much to ask for my to perform something that is important. I feel like a do a lot of things that I don’t have a choice but to (be a provider, mow the yard, ect.). A lot of these things I am glad to do, I don’t feel she gladly has sex with me.
As you probably heard me say in the episode, I agree that sex in marriage is a duty. However, talking about it as a duty isn’t the way to get a wife to engage the way her husband desires. And honestly, the comparison of mowing a lawn to being penetrated in sex isn’t, well, ideal. Sex is a far more vulnerable, emotional, intimate experience. So wouldn’t it be better to convince a wife that she doesn’t have to have sex, but rather she gets to have sex? ~ J
You’re right, mowing the yard and sex are not equal, and I was having a particularly bad weekend coping with this situation. This is a hard deal because I really can’t talk to my buddies about it, so it’s kind of one of those deals I feel alone about. It’s just hard hearing how much work I’m going to have to put in to try to change things, know the other half really shows no desire to change. This seems like an impossible situation at times.
All I can say is that I remember when my marriage was awful and it felt like the mountain of change was far too high to climb. I felt a sense of hopelessness and frustration, but I also didn’t want to give up. That’s when you just look at the next thing you have to do—one thing. And then the next, and the next, and the next. Those steps may seem small, even insignificant compared to where you want to be, but over time they accumulate. Eventually, you look back and realize how far you’ve come. Praying for you. ~ J