5 Comments on “Episode 3: Why Can’t She Focus?”

  1. Kids are a HUGE distraction in marital relationships. I think human females, like a lot of females in the animal kingdom, will tolerate males for procreation and then once the babies are around completely dismiss the male. In the animal world males are either eaten, killed, run off, or ignored once the female has babies to take care of. Also explains why younger women are so into sex and older women are not.

    1. What a sad view of how women view men. While it’s probably true for some women, it isn’t true for most of us. While kids do often get in the way of the marriage relationship, it’s a bit dismissive to refer to them as a distraction. Babies do need to be cared for, and it’s exhausting. It isn’t that younger women are more into sex because they haven’t yet been distracted by children. It’s more that they get more sleep and carry less emotional labor than they do after children come along.

      I also noticed this in my own marriage: how my husband dealt with the kids and shouldered parenting tasks affected my sexual interest. Parenting gave him more opportunities to do things that either made me all melty inside or that caused me distress.

  2. My wife might have been able to focus on sex over the years if she had simply SLOWED DOWN and MADE time for it. Instead, she had:
    1.) Ladies Auxiliary, AWANA, Women’s Bible Study, etc. 4 nights a week at times.
    2.) Church community outreach activities several times a month.
    3.) School activities that she felt she HAD to volunteer for EVERY single time.
    4.) Dropping everything to tend to her passive-aggressive father (who, fair enough, is now at the age that he does require care to a greater extent) instead of letting her sister and HIS sister, both of whom live less than 10 minutes away. Don’t get me started on her brother, “The Golden Child,” who granted lives a few hours away, but who could easily come down once or even twice a month but doesn’t.
    4.) Running 5 and 10Ks on weekends (despite having “thyroid problems” and being too tired for sex.
    5.) Getting up at 4:30 to go walking at the church with the music minister’s wife (but yet can barely stay awake past 10pm for sex).
    6.) Staying up late to watch talk shows, then when I mention intimacy, she is “suddenly” exhausted.
    I could go on and on but you get the idea; anything to stay (literally and figuratively) out of arm’s reach and-God forbid-spend time with me.

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