Chris Taylor
A while back a husband asked us a question:
We recently purchased “sex furniture” —two wedges of different sizes. They don’t seem to do anything for us. Are we not doing it correctly or is “sex furniture” just hype to sell that stuff. It was fairly expensive and we were doing fine before spending the money.
This is a great question, because quite a few couples open the package with their sex furniture and find themselves wondering just what to do with it. And quite a few husbands out there don’t even get that far, as their wives are wary of the purchase in the first place.
So let’s dig into that a bit today and talk about how you can add sex furniture into your sexual intimacy, even if you have a wary wife.
Sex Furniture 101
High-quality sex furniture is made out of the same polyurethane foam used in regular furniture. It comes in a variety of shapes and sizes, ranging from a small mini-wedge that can be stored under your bed to an actual piece of furniture that can accommodate two people. Sex furniture provides firm but comfortable support and has a removable machine-washable cover.
Many couples find that sex furniture helps them use different positions for a variety of sexual activities (intercourse, manual stimulation, and oral sex). It provides much better support than a pillow, which tends to get squished after a bit. Sex furniture helps you tilt your hips or torso to experience new angles of stimulation.
Plenty of Christian couples use sex furniture—not only because it can be fun, but also because the extra support can help bodies that have lost their flexibility, grown larger, or developed a health condition that makes it uncomfortable to bear much weight.
Is Your Wife Hesitant?
Some women may hesitate when it comes to sex furniture. They may be reluctant to spend money on something that is only for sex. Some women also think that if you have to get something new for sex, they must be failing at sex in some way. What’s wrong with me the way I am? they think. Doesn’t he like the way I feel in our usual position? And others struggle with the idea of someone finding out that they use sex furniture.
Some women prefer to never try anything new. (Read Why She Likes Vanilla Sex for some insight.)
However, if your wife is willing to try, there are some things you can do to make it easier for her.
- Read through How to Use Sex Furniture at Married Dance together. The illustrations are tastefully done and include information about how various pieces and positions can be a benefit.
- Don’t surprise her with it. Rather, invite her to choose the product and color.
- Consider starting with a small piece, such as the Liberator Jaz, so it doesn’t feel like you’re doing anything too radically different from your usual positions. When she gets used to that, move on up to the Liberator Wedge, which is a bit larger.
- While your wife is getting comfortable with the idea of adding a sex pillow to your intimacy, stick to your usual positions and activities rather than some cool new thing that you want to try. This will help her be more aware of how the same position can feel different with a sex pillow.
- Don’t use it every time you have sex or for the entire sexual encounter.
- Take charge of cleaning the piece after every use and then storing it out of sight. Simply knowing that it isn’t an object she is responsible for might be persuasive enough for some women.
How to Use Sex Furniture
One of the fun things about sex furniture is that there’s no one way to use it. Most pieces can be used in quite a few ways.
If you get a small wedge, you can use it in a variety of ways. Try them at all possible different angles. Have both you and your wife try being the person being supported. Try lying face-down and face-up. See what happens when the hips are brought to the edge of the wedge for easy access to genitals. Try it in the middle of the bed and at the edge of the bed. The non-supported spouse can try different positions as well—sitting, standing, being on top, facing forward and backward.
Larger wedges can be used in the same ways as small ones, and you may find that the angles are a bit more pronounced. If you have more than one piece of furniture, try them out separately and together.
You can find great suggestions at the Married Dance website.
You may discover that even after trying your pieces every which way, you don’t experience a significant difference in sensation or enjoyment—and that’s fine! Store them away for another season in your life when one of you develops back problems, arthritis, or other problems that can be addressed with better support.
The Bottom Line
If your wife hesitates to purchase sex furniture or to use products you already own, know that sex furniture isn’t essential to a good sex life. Sex furniture can make some things much easier—but you can also have a great sex life without it.
Good sex furniture can add variety and support to your sex life, especially as your bodies change throughout your lives together. Enjoy the shared exploration of what sex furniture can do for you.
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