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Insight and support for Christian husbands
Insight and support for Christian husbands
I listened to this podcast with my wife with great interest. It really gave me a lot of insight & more empathy for what she goes through during her period, Thank you J and Chris, this was incredibly insightful and I will be so much more aware of her needs and discomforts.
A point I’d like to add is the perspective of what’s happening on the man’s side during her period. A man’s ‘need’ for release is an unavoidable physical drive, like a (I hate to use this analogy, but) bowel movement. I doubt it is like a woman’s sex drive/desire or even her most aching need.
So from a purely biological pov, I don’t feel he should have to ask permission of his wife to take care of himself if she is unable to have PIV sex due to discomfort , or is unwilling to have non-PIV sex. This would be like a wife being forced to ask her husband if she’s allowed to use the washroom, or eat. Again, I mean this from a biological perspective only.
Men also feel incredibly emotionally disconnected from their wives when she is 100% sexually disconnected from him for a week. If it’s a couple of days during her heavy time, I’m completely understanding & the loving husband that brings chocolate and a warm blanket is there for her, always.
It’s difficult to come back to sexual intimacy after a week or more, turn on a dime, and there she is, she’s my sexual partner again. Men are not machines either, although sometimes we come across that way I’m sure!
If the current situation is that the wife is 100% off limits sexually during the entirety of her period, or longer than a couple of days, then please talk about other forms of sexual intimacy that might be available. And let him take care of himself if necessary, show some mercy in the other direction as well! When we get this we’ll be a MUCH kinder, patient, less frustrated, empathetic, loving, helpful partner. Exactly what you’re asking for. Love & caring are infectious, help him out of his predicament, so he can be there for you, and vice versa!
If a man truly needs a physical release, won’t he have a wet dream? It makes sense to me that a couple come to an agreement about masturbation during times like this. It isn’t about having permission as much as it is about discussing the issue and deciding together what is reasonable and how to manage things. If she is really uncomfortable with the idea of him masturbating, perhaps a wife might be willing to provide some visual stimulation (such as reclining in a sexy piece of lingerie) while he masturbates so it is a shared experience. Chris