What Does She Really Think About Your Penis?

J. Parker

Generally speaking, men have a strong connection to their own penis. Its very existence signals masculinity, but it’s also an interesting and potent organ. It has been upfront and demanding attention your whole lives, guys, in a way we gals can’t quite relate. But we get it—we know you like your penis.

What does your wife think about your penis? Not what does she say to you or how does she treat it. Rather, what do wives say about penises when you’re not around, when we’re blunt about our opinions, when we’re processing through our thoughts and feelings about this oh-so-important man-part?

Today I’ll address a few specific questions that all go toward answering: What does she really think about your penis?

Is the penis attractive?

A large number of men seem to have an attitude about their penis similar to that of a magician about his best trick. Its unveiling is like a moment of Ta-da! This amazing display should come with appreciation and perhaps even applause.

To be fair, those men typically have such appreciation—if not quite applause—when their wife unveils her beautiful body. So why doesn’t she find his penis as visually appealing as he finds her breasts and/or vulva?

Because it’s weird, guys.

Sorry, but I promised to tell you what women say about penises when you’re not around. And we think they’re odd. Not in a duckbilled platypus kind of way. More like a penguin. Like we look at it, think it’s interesting, and mutter, “Huh, wonder what it does.”

Depending on the moment, a penis is a cylinder-shaped organ that falls over or stands up, that’s soft and wrinkly or hard and smooth, that changes color with blood flow, and that has a hole on the top where liquids shoot out. So yeah, it’s fascinating, but is it attractive? Umm. Maybe? But it can also be a little off-putting, given all that it is and does.

What do we like about his penis?

Just because it’s not in the way you expect (or view her body parts) doesn’t mean she doesn’t appreciate and enjoy your penis. A wife’s lack of eagerness at the sight of the “Fabulous Phallus” (Chris’s phrase, not mine!) has nothing to do with a particular penis or the man it’s attached to. Our arousal just doesn’t work in the same way.

But while the mere sight of it may not immediately thrill her, she might become a big fan of the little man. What do wives like?

We like that it responds to us. It’s fascinating to see the power our beauty and sensuality have over our husbands. While sometimes the erection isn’t well-timed, many wives enjoy knowing that they can get a rise—literally—out of their husbands when they undress, kiss, touch, or even suggest sexual intimacy.

We like its flexibility. Not its physical flexibility in this case, since it might be inflexible at the moment of sexual intimacy. But rather, the penis does more than one thing. It can be used for intercourse, sure, but also responds to hand or mouth. It can enter at different angles and feel different in sensation depending on position and angle.

We like that it satisfies a natural longing. When a wife becomes sufficiently aroused or after an orgasm brought on by “foreplay,” her body often gives her a signal: get something in that vagina. I’m worried just saying that is titillating here, but it’s true that hubbies with a hard-on want a place to put and wives with high arousal want something cylindrical to fill up their vagina. When a beloved husband—whom she trusts with such vulnerability—enters, it satisfies a natural longing.

We like that it has semen. Not all the time, to be fair. Sometimes semen is messy, but some wives like its texture and taste, more wives like it when he climaxes inside her, and most wives like that you have the other half needed to make babies. You know, when we want babies.

We like its masculinity. We like that our husbands are men, and their penises are one aspect that proclaims, “We are men.” It’s a prominent and potent tool that you can use for great sexual things while you use the rest of your bodies for great relational, romantic, and reassuring things. We like that you have a package, and that package is one part of “male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27).

None of that is exactly about appearance, but as we grow more and more comfortable with a husband’s penis, we are more likely to equate the visual with the other benefits it brings.

Is it big enough?

Short answer: yes. For the vast majority of wives, their husband’s penis size is more than sufficient. In fact, I’ve heard from far more wives struggling with their husband’s penis being too large than too small because that can cause discomfort or even pain.

The nerve endings of the vagina are mostly in the first two inches, so that’s what she’s feeling—your penis at the entry point and a couple of inches in. Plus, that’s the area where the clitoris encircles the vulva, which is the happy organ for us ladies. So basically, your biggest bang for your buck is the two inches where your penis contacts with her vaginal opening.

Could a bigger penis do more? Sure, a longer penis might be able to reach deeper and make contact with the inner wall where the G-spot or Skene’s glands are located, thus providing an unusual or pleasurable sensation. But that’s not a given and those spots are also accessible with your fingers, gents.

What about girth? The vagina is very elastic, contracting and stretching as needed. As long as you’re in the normal range, her body will likely adjust to your girth.

A very small percentage of men have an oversized penis or a micropenis; these are the far ends of the spectrum. If that’s the case, then you might have sexual struggles that a doctor could help you address. Talk with your wife and figure out if this is worth pursuing. Some couples choose medical intervention, and other couples adapt to have sex in other ways.

Do women have “penis envy”?

While we’re here anyway, let’s cover this topic. I can’t speak for all women, of course, but many wives do envy the penis when it comes to two things:

• It’s easier to pee outside. Or in a gross restroom. Or pretty much anywhere.
• The penis tends to have fewer infections than the vagina.

But that’s it. The rest of the time, we’re quite happy that we have lady parts, and if offered a trade, we wouldn’t take it. The penis seems to come with other issues, like all that dangling and spontaneous erections, that aren’t all that appealing.

You can have your stuff, we’ll have our stuff, and when done right, they come together quite well. In marriage, a wife should have access to a penis if she wants one, and that’s more than enough.