What’s So Great About Men?

J. Parker

Two women writing about sex to men. By this point in our ministries, we already know what some husbands will think: Women are always blaming men. Women don’t appreciate how men are built. Women don’t even like men all that much.

However, these two wives — J and Chris — actually think men are pretty awesome!

Moreover, lots of wives find men to be rather wonderful, especially their own particular guy. Though what women appreciate about men may be slightly different from what you might think.

So from a female frame of mind, let me share what we wives think is so great about men.

His Strength

Cliché, right? But there is truth to it — strength is attractive to women. Yet it may not be the kind of strength you’re thinking of, the hard-muscled, manly-man stuff. Strength isn’t appealing unless it’s paired with tenderness.

Most women have experienced harassment or mistreatment of some kind at the hands of a strong man. But we’ve also seen men temper their exterior strength with interior strength to protect and provide for others. That is what’s great about men. Men who:

• Spot a small child trying to toddle across the room
• Stand up for a woman being harassed by another man
• Hold their wife when she’s crying, just to let her know he’s there
• Make extra effort to caress her gently during sexual intimacy

His Leadership

I’m not talking about the balance of power or submission in your marriage, which is a separate subject. Rather, wives of all spots and stripes tend to appreciate men leading in areas of ability.

That could involve anything from gaining respect in the workplace to reading Scripture at church to simply being the first one to go into the dark basement after a blackout. Look, no matter how strong a personality I am — and I’m mostly a do-it-myself gal — I still like that I can say, “There’s a weird noise in the attic,” and my husband will lead the charge to figure out what it is.

His Body

Do women notice how men look? You bet we do.

When it comes to attractive qualities, we may not be as visual as men. But women are quite aware of their own guy’s appeal. More than once, I’ve asked wives what they like about their husbands, and you might be surprised that the answers range from internal traits to “his eyes,” “his broad shoulders,” “his big arms,” and even “his butt.” And these are not women married to Ryan Gosling or Jason Momoa lookalikes.

Women tend to be attracted to manly features, especially in their own men, be it chest hair or muscled forearms or that firm butt. Your wife likely believes you also are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

His Playfulness

Men tend to be more recreationally focused than women. That means that a lot of husbands have a good sense of play and can bring that perspective to their (often stressed) wives. We like that there’s such a thing as “dad jokes,” even if we groan and roll our eyes at them.

As long as a husband isn’t shirking his responsibility (see His Leadership point above), that tendency of guys to be extra playful helps us women to enjoy life more ourselves.

His Commitment

There’s a strong rumor out there that men have an inborn fear of commitment. But it’s not borne out by the experience of many wives who witness their own husbands take care of their families day in and day out.

Many men stick it out despite challenges that come their way with communication, parenting, finances, health, and yes, sexuality. Moreover, they’re willing to commit not only to the marriage to making the marriage better.

Okay, that’s it! It’s not a comprehensive list of what’s great about men, but a few traits to celebrate. And when a man’s traits are infused with a desire to emulate Jesus Christ, he is an even better husband.

Stay tuned as we provide tips for how to better understand your wife and thus be the best husband you can be.